


Butterflies can Cry

by Little_Lady_Squeak



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Angst, Bucket List, Depressed Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Evil Lila Rossi, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth Has Feelings, Gabriel Knows, Gen, Good Friend Kagami Tsurugi, Good Friend Luka Couffaine, Guitar Hero - Freeform, Lila Rossi Bashing, Luka would probably help, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Is a Mess, Mentioned Lila Rossi, Nino is a bro, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plagg Cares (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Gabriel, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Sad Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Stars, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), also without regret, big sad, kagami and marinette are friends, kagami would murder for her friends, lack of braincells, mari and nino are bros, the class are sheep, without regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:26:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Lady_Squeak/pseuds/Little_Lady_Squeak
Summary: Everyone has a breaking point but not everyone has the luxury of being able to allow themselves to be akumatized but Hawkmoth isn't heartless, he didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.He doesn't want anyone to die.But saving someone who's on the verge of breaking is more than just making sure they're physically alive.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Kagami Tsurugi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Classmates, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Lila Rossi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Tikki
Comments: 205
Kudos: 683





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey little mice!
> 
> I've finally posted another work and it's kinda dark again, (oops????)
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy and it might even get happier later on, who knows? - I certainly don't. 
> 
> I have another development for all of you so be sure to check to note at the end :)

"Marinette! I can't believe you'd really steal my designs!" 

"Girl, I know you're jealous that Mr Agreste admires Lila's work but thievery is not the answer," Alya states with her arms folded and a disapproving glare aimed at the bluenette. 

It wasn't like it was anything new, they always took Lila's side. The second the Italian's crocodile tears start she can do no wrong, never mind Marinette's own very real tears. For weeks she's been left questioning what she did wrong, was she really so bad that they just assumed she was a bully with no proof? Did everyone really see her as that bad of a person?

Surely she couldn't be, she was Ladybug after all, but did anyone really know Ladybug? Isn't Ladybug more of an icon than a person to the rest of Paris?

"I... I didn't-"

"We know you did and we've made sure you won't be taking credit for anymore of Lila's work. You're lucky she's too nice to report you!" Marinette felt her heart shatter as the remains of a hardback sketchbook were thrust into her arms, the little resolve she had left dissipated as sobs wracked her small frame.

Countless designs had already been destroyed by the lying vixen and those who were once friends, countless hour worth of work reduced to nothing but through it all she had held her resolve, kept her head held high and hopeful for a better day, but this? This wasn't just a sketchbook, this had been her portfolio. Filled to the brim with her best work, overflowing with meticulously planned concepts she held in the highest regard, her means of applying to any future design programme. 

They had already shattered her present happiness but now they've ruined her future hopes as well. 

"What the hell Alya!" Nino. Ever the passive one, not outwardly picking a side but his support for his childhood best friend had always been welcome. He could never fully believe Lila's lies but there was only so much the young DJ could do, this however was too far - even for his ever present 'go with the flow' attitude. "Not cool dudette."

"That was my portfolio." The choked whisper is barely audible but the impact is enough, even to the perpetrators of such a deed.

It was their last year and no school would except her onto their design course without a portfolio, they all knew it. Marinette wouldn't be able to study design.

"What's going on?" Adrien, as blissfully oblivious as always. Any more words that were going to come from the blond were lost when he met the teary blue eyes of the trembling girl before. "Mari-"

Barging past the blond, Marinette ran from it all. Ran from her class, her bullies, even from the few she could still call friends.

Enough people has seen her cry to last a lifetime, far too many. 

She's done with crying and she's done with Paris.

* * *

Finding a quiet spot wasn't hard, being Ladybug means she always knows somewhere to go in case she needs to transform - which felt like most days recently. In the dark classroom all alone was where she could finally let go, she finds herself on the floor sobbing as she claws desperately at her wrists in an attempt to feel anything that wasn't the suffocating sadness that incapacitated her being.

She couldn't go home. Couldn't face the disappointment on her parents' faces after hearing the false reports of bullying from the school. Watching them question where they had gone wrong with her, know that they thought she was _wrong._

They probably wouldn't care that her portfolio has been destroyed, maybe they would even think she had deserved to have it ruined. She wasn't quite sure how they would react, she didn't ever want to find out.

She pulls her legs to her chest, dropping her head limply down onto them as she cries. 

"Marinette?" The small red goddess of creation floats towards her chosen, carefully nuzzling her small body against the bluenette's face.

"Tikki I can't anymore, I'm sorry. Master Fu made a mistake in choosing me." Tikki looked horror-stricken at the words she heard, the girl before her was the best Ladybug she had ever had the pleasure of working with. The young designer had been placed in what seemed like an ever-worsening situation but through it all she maintained one of the purest hearts the Goddess had ever encountered. She held creation in her every breath but that didn't stop the destruction the gnawed at the girl's being. "Goodbye Tikki."

"I love you Mari-" With trembling hands, Marinette carefully removed her earrings knowing it had been the last time she would see Tikki in this lifetime. The Goddess always knew how to pick her words, it's no surprise her last ones were able to increase the teens cries of despair.

Marinette carefully places the earrings on the ground next to her, they were important and hopefully whoever found them would know that but Tikki is smart, she won't give anyone has transformation phrase without testing their character. Knowing Tikki will be safe wherever she ends up allows the teen to lose herself in her sadness.

She takes a small pair of scissors in her hands, clutching them tightly in her fist as she acknowledges that it's time to follow through on a plan she has been contemplating for what feels like months.

She feels like she is drowning in sorrow, like she'd spent hours struggling to stay afloat in a raging ocean and has finally given in to the current, allowing herself to rest in the deserted waters. Despite the pain of drowning she'd never felt so relieved of her exhaustion, so ready to be welcomed into the embrace of pain knowing it would be short lived and deliver her something better.

Her thoughts hold the girl captive - they'd been doing that a lot recently - so much so that she's seemingly oblivious to the gentle fluttering that accompanies her sorrowful cries, at least until the small akuma lands upon the small pair of scissors clasped tightly in her pale fist.

_"Hello-"_

"Thank you Hawkmoth, for giving me a reason to last this long."

_"W-what?"_

"I'm afraid there's nothing left for me. It's funny, it's not like this is the first time I've thought about going but there were always thing that I thought I would do first - I had a list - I guess they just don't matter anymore."

_"What are you...?"_

"Goodbye Hawkmoth."

With a single motion worthy of Ladybug's bravery, the bluenette slices vertically down her wrist, digging the small pair of scissors as deep as she can force them and ignoring the resistance of her body.

"I thought it'd be faster than this, it makes my goodbye a little anticlimactic," Marinette chuckles weakly despite the situation, her tears continue to stream down her face as she bleeds out listening to someone calling her name from what seems to be so far away.

* * *

Elsewhere, ~~Gabriel Agreste~~ Hawkmoth was panicking, he had never wanted anyone to be harmed in such a way, yet alone someone so young. Calling an ambulance wouldn't save the young girl, they wouldn't get there in time. He needed to do something, he couldn't let her die in this way, especially at her age.

If he couldn't save her now, he'd just have to make sure she survived until someone could.

"Bucket List, I am Hawkmoth. I give you the power to fulfil your bucket list but in return you must give me five reasons to live."

He waits with baited breath, hoping the young girl will accept his 'akumitization'.

_"I accept."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tikki, you’re the best friend that I’ve ever had, I’m just sorry that I had to make you so upset. You’ve given me the best memories and that’s why the first thing I want to do is show my best friend how much I love her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little mice!
> 
> Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out, I had no idea what to do first (this is what I get for not planning)!
> 
> Now, future chapters may have some brief ship moments (could develop in a spin-off or later on depending on how it goes but I'm not sure yet), I must admit that I am personally leaning towards these moments being more Lukanette centric however I want to hear what you all think - don't worry I won't hate on Adrien even if it's Lukanette.... unless you want me to

Akumatization had never been such a calm process. No dramatic speeches, no emotional declarations and definitely no imminent destruction.

Had he not watched the swirls of purple and black intertwine around the now changed girl, Hawkmoth himself wouldn’t believe her to be an akuma.

Her hair hung loose at her shoulders, her body encompassed in a spectral violet from her torso to her feet in a manner that reminded him of the heroine of Paris, except her arms lacked the same violet. Instead, streaks of black trace the length of her arms ready to drip off the tips of her fingers yet the darkness sticks close to her, stark against her pale skin. Lastly are the two wing like strips of fabric hanging limply upon her back, the ends blackened as if she had been burnt – quite fitting.

Maybe if he didn’t know better Hawkmoth would have mistook her as a new hero - more likely a new villain – but the one thing she lacked was a mask. Despite her change of clothes and the dullness of her now grey eyes, she was undeniably Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

There was no clear plan he could see, but he wasn’t exactly well versed in fulfilling death wishes.

Still, he expected something to happen. Instead the bluenette took it upon herself to surprise him yet again by simply picking up her earrings off the ground.

“With me, you’re safe,” she whispers softly with a tenderness Gabriel would have thought impossible for someone going through such emotional distress. He doesn’t know what she means as she gently traces over the smooth surface of the onyx jewellery but chooses to stay quiet as she puts them on.

The flash of rosy hues that illuminated her figure for a mere moment shouldn’t have surprised him – it made perfect sense that the girl who had been desperately avoiding akumatization and putting every person she came across above herself was the same as the heroine credited in the fight to ‘liberate’ Paris.

Maybe he should have seen this as his chance to get what he wanted, finally knowing the identity of the ever-elusive Ladybug but to rob a child who had already had so much of her life stolen by a responsibility that should never have been hers, it was too far even for him.

_‘You don’t know how much I had hoped you were older….’_

She may be fighting against him, but her battle is one he has great respect for, he would never punish a child for being forced into such a role.

“M-Marinette?” The red kwami squeaked out in a mixture of shock and fear, she hadn’t expected to see the blue haired holder again in this lifetime.

“Hi Tikki,” she greeted the small God, attempting to soothe her with her tone.

“You’re okay!” Rather than the reassurances the kwami was hoping for, she was met be a sad smile and a brief glance downwards to the ripples of black on the young teen’s wrist.

“Tikki, you’re the best friend that I’ve ever had, I’m just sorry that I had to make you so upset. You’ve given me the best memories and that’s why the first thing I want to do is show my best friend how much I love her.”

“Marinette!” The kwami – Tikki – nuzzled up to the young girl’s face, the gravity of what may be inevitable hitting the small God.

“Come on Tikki, I promised you I would make a flower garden for you, didn’t I?” The small God responded with small, choked sobs earning a small pitiful smile from the violet clad teen. “Please Tikki, let me do this with you.”

At the small God’s tearful nod, the teen used her newly acquired powers to transport them both away from the dreaded school, leaving Hawkmoth to continue watching his new akuma in silence.

_‘Even in death, she is selfless… how sad’_

* * *

There was panic at the appearance of an akuma in the park, the eerie silence surrounding the bluenette furthered the anxiety of those around who made the quick decision to put as much distance between themselves and the teen as they could.

No attempts at hostility were made by the girl as she paced around the park, in fact she held herself with a certain grace and softness that most would envy in normal circumstances.

_“You are well versed in putting up a front Miss Dupain-Cheng” Hawkmoth mumbled softly to himself as his eyes tracked the girl’s actions. It wasn’t hard for him to see the same caring nature possessed by his wife present in the young girl._

_Something the world seems to want to eradicate._

“How is here? Right next to the statue for Paris’ heroes, where you should be,” she bluenette asked softly, lowering herself carefully to her knees in front of the structure.

“Marinette?....”

“It’s weird Tikki, I always expected that I wouldn’t have any control as an akuma. That I wouldn’t be responsible for what I do, what I feel but it’s not like that…”

“The butterfly miraculous – like all of them – can be used for both good and evil. You haven’t been corrupted Marinette, you’re still you; there’s no darkness in your akuma.”

“I’m still me….” She mused softly as she placed her palms gently against the dirt beneath her, willing the Earth to respond to her beckoning.

A small gleam developed beneath her darkened hands, developing into a soft lilac glow that spread from beneath her palms to the soil she traces with her fingertips. Her hands gliding naturally over the soft dirt as Tikki peered over her shoulder in awe.

It started small, weak stems pushing through the Earth’s surface as they gradually elongated from the grass. The stems pushed up the sides of the statue’s foundations, leaves brushing carefully against the edges of the composition. As the flowers began to bloom, drops of vibrant colours found themselves encompassing the base of the statue.

It was enchanting how the plants responded to the force of creation within the young Ladybug. Even without being transformed, the miraculous had left a mark on her soul in which Ladybug would forever live on. A mark catalysed by the powers of an akuma of pure origin.

Following the example of her holder, Tikki used her magic to coax blossoms from the ground, allowing them to weave themselves between Marinette’s flowers and add to the volume of flora collected around the small monument. With a second surge of magic, bluebells pushed themselves to the surface and through the entanglement of flowers around them, refusing to be suffocated as they grew.

"Bluebells?"

“I don’t want to be remembered without you Marinette, I’m not ready for you to leave me yet.” The small God tucked a bluebell behind her holder's ear, reminiscing the shine that had once been present in her now grey eyes. Satisfied, Tikki settled herself atop of Marinette's head and began to gently brush strands of her chosen's hair.

“Oh Tikki, not everything has a tomorrow and that’s okay. This world just isn’t my place anymore, there’s no more I can fix.”

“It’s not your job to fix anything! You shouldn’t put other people above yourself, you’re just as important! Please Marinette, let me show you that you have a tomorrow…”

“I’m sorry Tikki. I meant it when I said you have given me the very best memories; I promise that I’ll say goodbye this time.”

“I’m immortal, I’ve learnt a lot about saying goodbye and I know this is still too early.” Marinette reached her hand up to the kwami, brushing Tikki’s head softly with the tips of her fingers. “I heard what you said earlier.”

“What?”

“With you, I’m safe," Tikki repeats the girl's words back to her before continuing, "but with me, you’re never alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, this was written 1am-2am so I'm going to apologise now for any errors as I haven't proof read it, I'm publishing this at 2:10am.
> 
> There shouldn't be as much of a delay with future chapters, I was finalising my university application and I had some additional forms to fill out for specific unis (I feel so old D: ), my writing is probably a tell-tale sign but I am not applying for anything English related XD
> 
> Any other English 6th form students reading this and also going insane with the process? 
> 
> Anyways, please let me know about preferences on ships so that I can make a decision, I'm not sure what will happen in the next chapter but I have a few ideas. I will probably leave it a few days before writing so that I can (hopefully) hear back from some of you.
> 
> I'm going to attempt to sleep now before I go insane!! 
> 
> I hope you're all keeping well!
> 
> That's all from me now, time to scurry!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teen turned her dull eyes to the kwami, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I think it’s time to tell my partner goodbye…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little mice! :)
> 
> I still have some coursework to complete before I post the next chapter - that's why this one took so long. As soon as I have my coursework completed then I will be able to post more but hopefully there will be a few updates over Christmas.
> 
> If there are any characters you want to see then please let me know so I can make sure they're definitely included :)

“Would you like to come with me Tikki?”

Maybe in other circumstances the God would have questioned the invitation, but here – now – the meaning was clear. Her chosen would not be alone ever again, she wouldn’t allow it.

“Where to Marinette?” The small kwami shifted herself onto her current holder’s shoulder, content to just exist with the teen in the moment knowing how short-lived a moment could be.

The teen turned her dull eyes to the kwami, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I think it’s time to tell my partner goodbye…”

With a small sigh the bluenette pushed herself up from the ground, placing herself on her feet as she gave a wistful look towards to sky. The blue sky was tinted with an ash-hued haze, splotched with an array of colourless clouds that the girl aspired to walk amongst. A place in the sky she so badly wanted to fade into, a dream she didn’t need to see.

“What purrfect timing you have, this alley cat was looking for a butterfly.”

Hearing the casual pun from behind, she turned to meet the eyes of her partner who had defended her through so much, both in and out of battle. His body was positioned ready to pounce at her, ready for the fight he had assumed she would give but the confidence of his stance faltered the minute she turned to face him.

“Marinette?” The cat themed hero hadn’t comprehended the question before it slipped through his lips, too focused on his own shock at seeing one of his closest friends akumatized, yet alone so… passive.

“Oh Chaton, you know me as a lot more than just Marinette….”

The heroes masked green eyes widened further at the implications of the statement.

“My Lady…”

* * *

“Please, please don’t fight,” Hawkmoth murmured softly to himself as he watched the akumatized girl interact with the hero before her, “Emilie, she’s too young to join you.”

The ‘villain’ found himself stood crouching with his head gently resting against the top of his cane, his two hands holding the object in place from above as he tried not to overthink the situation that was unravelling but it seems like an impossible task.

One cataclysm could mean the end.

Breaking scissors would signal the end of such a young life, such an impactful life.

And if he were to appear in person? Who would take the word of a known villain? Even if they did, the chances they would prioritise his capture over that of a young girl’s life were high, all in the name of the greater good.

No, whatever the outcome, he would have to watch the events unfold unable to intervene. A cruel punishment to his misdeeds, leaving the man unable to take a more active role in saving a life when it mattered, of preventing a second death from haunting his consciousness.

He had made the grave mistake of allowing his son to be left drowning in his own grief after the ‘death’ of his mother, allowing himself to be consumed by tragedy to the point that he became oblivious to the turmoil he was causing, a wilful ignorance most likely.

He would not allow another innocent life to slip through the cracks in society.

He would not allow his son the chance to grieve another death.

He would not allow a teenager (assumedly) to inadvertently become a killer.

Gabriel wasn’t the most sympathetic person, nor was he particularly empathetic – the irony wasn’t lost on him, exploiting emotions he couldn’t fully comprehend wasn’t always an easy task. His life had, however, been tainted with far too much death for him to allow the same to be inflicted upon others. Death was something the man understood all too well, it was also one hell of a motivator.

With a new resolve, he straightened his posture and positioned himself with confidence. He allowed his gaze to be fixed solely on the two interacting not knowing when a crucial detail could arise.

This would not be Marinette’s last conversation.

* * *

“I’m sorry Chaton, I never meant to put you through something like this.”

“No, no! You do not get to apologise for having feelings! You are more than just a hero! I can help you; I just need your akumatized object and then the cat and bug duo will be back at their usual antics.” Chat edged forward with a warm smile aimed at his partner, it was obvious that she was too much herself to be a normal akuma but if that meant he could save her faster, he would not argue.

“I’m sorry Chat,” Marinette whispered softly, suddenly unable to meet the hero’s eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

“M-my Lady? What is it? Whatever it is I can help with? If it’s Hawkmoth-“

“Chat Noir.” His eyes were drawn away from his partner towards the red kwami that he pushed off from the girl’s shoulder. “I’m Tikki, Ladybug’s kwami. Her akumatization isn’t like anything you’ve dealt with before; it’s still her you’re talking to, just with a new power. Hawkmoth was actually the one to save her.”

“What do you mean Hawkmoth saved her?” The urgency in his tone was evident but it was hardly unsurprising.

“I tried to kill myself, his akuma saved me. I’ll be leaving soon after my akuma is gone,” the bluenette explained dully, the numbness in her chest outweighing what would have been embarrassment or despair at her admittance, lifting one of her wrists as if to demonstrate her point.

His eyes are drawn to the rippling black cascading down her wrists to the tips of her fingers, he couldn’t help but wait for the black substance to break free from her fractured porcelain skin and fall the distance to the ground.

Images of the inky blackness seeping into the soft grass around her feet forced themselves into his mind. Trails of darkened blood following the movements of the fallen girl before him. Streaks of sable embedded in soil, marring snowy skin, consuming flowers. Then the blackened smears turned to crimson stains swallowing the raven-toned girl.

He fixed his eyes upon the – still alive (if you could call it that) – girl before him as his brain continued to work in an attempt to comprehend the situation. For so long he had loved the girl in front of him and she had saved him a countless number of times. He couldn’t risk leaving words unsaid between them.

“My Lady, please, let me show you the me under the mask.”

“Chat, no, Hawkmoth may have saved me, but you won’t be able to continue as Chat Noir with your identity revealed.”

“I can’t continue to be Chat Noir without you by my side, some secrets just aren’t meant to be kept.”

The conflict was evident on Marinette’s face, weighing the needs of Paris against what the two of them so desperately wanted before she gave in. Afterall, she trusted that Paris could survive under new heroes, but she couldn’t trust that Chat would be unaffected by the potential regret of not having revealed himself.

“Plagg, claws in.”

“A-Adrien?”

“Hey Bugaboo”

_‘I really messed up; it looks like I’m always finding another way to hurt you more, son. It’s my turn to save the both of you for once instead of causing the danger.’_

“Oh kid, what did you do?” Plagg mumbled softly to himself as he moved towards the girl in front of him, pulling Tikki along with him. The two kwamis settled themselves on one of her shoulders, hidden behind a curtain of hair as they nuzzled up against the girl in hopes of providing some form of comfort. “Kid, you were much too good for any of this.”

“I’ll be alright Plagg, I just need you to take care of Tikki for me,” she responded softly, keeping her voice low before returning her attention to Adrien. “I’m glad that it’s you,” Marinette looked up at Adrien with a small smile as she speaks the words, happy to know that her partner had been one of the few not to betray her in either of the lives she led.

“Marinette, please. I just want you to know that you’re my friend and I love you, I always have, and I always will even if the way I love you changes. I hope you can remember that.”

“Could you still love me even if there was nothing left of me to see?”

“Oh Mari, of course I would. You’re much to difficult to forget,” Adrien promised as he approached her, only stopping briefly in front of the shorter teen before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her close unknowing to if it would be his last chance to do so.

“Adrien, there’s something I have been wanting to tell you for such a long time. Ever since that day you gave me your umbrella actually, I don’t want to regret not telling you.”

“You can tell me anything Marinette.”

“For so long I thought that I loved you, I thought that I wanted to be with you. Now I think it’s a lot clearer,” Marinette trailed off slightly, waiting for the comforting pats from the two kwamis before she continued, “Adrien I love you. I love you as a best friend, as my partner and maybe even how a sister loves a brother. I admire you a lot and I guess I idolised you that day when you made me feel like I could be something more than just Marinette. I got my admiration confused with a romantic kind of love and because of that I couldn’t consider how I may love you in a different way.”

“Mari…”

“Let her talk kid, this is something she needs to do,” Plagg told Adrien from Marinette’s shoulder, prompting the girl to continue as he gave her another encouraging pat.

“I got myself confused about my feelings, that’s why I was always so awkward around you. I wish I could have been a better friend and for that I am sorry, I have a tendency of getting myself quite flustered, I’d be surprised if you hadn’t noticed by now. I just don’t want you to think I was so awkward around you because I didn’t like you, it was actually the opposite. You’re my best friend Adrien and I love you in that way as both Adrien and Chat Noir.”

“You have nothing to apologise for Mari, I did the exact same thing to you with my admiration for Ladybug. It was easy to put you on a pedestal so I’m also sorry.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck nervously at his own confession. They had both managed to get themselves tangled in a love square of their own misidentified admiration.

Adrien’s eyes widen as Marinette’s smaller body collides with his, wrapping the two of them in a tight hug. “You’re the best partner I could have asked for.”

“And you’re the beset partner I could have had Bugaboo.” Adrien ruffled her hair softly with a teasing smile, already feeling despair clawing at his chest at the knowledge that he may never get the chance to do so. He may never get to hold his partner again, may never get the chance to talk to her again. “What do you say we have a run around Paris together, just like our first patrol?”

“I’d like that.”

“Plagg, claws out!”

“Tikki, will you be alright to hang onto my shoulder? There’s not much point in me transforming…”

“Of course, Marinette,” Tikki responded with a beaming smile at the dulled girl, just glad that the presence of her partner had brought forward a livelier reaction from the young teen, “it may be nice the experience everything from a new perspective.”

“Well, my Lady, I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been starring at the sky rather wistfully today, so I think it’s only right that I take you into the clouds.” Adrien – or Chat now – offered his hand to the bluenette who hesitantly took it, unsure as to what the blond meant.

With a smirk, he picked Marinette up and extended his baton, launching the two of them into the sky so that they could touch the clouds together.

“You know, I had always wondered what it would be like to live among the clouds,” Marinette confessed softly.

“If anyone could do it then it would be you, you have a way of making the impossible reality.”

“Adrien! You can’t just say something like that!”

“Come on purrincess, it’s Chat when I’m in the suit, I have a secret identity you know,” he teased softly, making an effort to immortalise every moment of their sky-high interaction in his memory.

“Thank you Chat, for bringing me here, for everything,” Marinette murmured softly as she reached out to brush her hand through the haze of the silver-lined fog-like mass, savouring the sensation as she did.

“Of course, Bugaboo….”

“What about a race to the Eiffel Tower, for traditions sake? I might even let you win this time…”

Chat smirked at the challenge, preparing himself to set the both of them safely back on the ground. “You’re on, my Lady.”

* * *

The duo stood side by side at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

One a recognised hero within Paris, the other clad in colours reminiscent of the akumas that had terrorised the city for so long. Yet both stood side by side in peace, an undisclosed comfort in the presence of each other.

Both looked out over the city they stood to protect. The majestic city could be seen with a startling beauty from such a height as the sun encompassed the city, light glistening off windows and left the illusion of a shimmering cityscape from which colour spilled. The lights glimmered with such intensity it was as if the night sky had been twisted into the Earth, a network of stars intwined with the fabric of the city that shone in defiance of the sun.

It was like a breath-taking marvel of a dream, tainted with fear in the shadows that traced the grounded stars.

If only there could have been more light for her.

“I hope you can meet me up here again my Lady.”

“In another life, Chat,” her voice was soft, almost hopeful as she extended her fist towards her partner, “pound it?”

“I will be at your side through every life, my Lady,” he responded, outstretching his fist to meet hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter, I am posting this nearing 4am because I am apparently incapable of writing at a normal time.
> 
> Thank you all for the reviews that have been left so far, how are you all so nice?!? (not that I'm complaining), hopefully I'll be able to post sooner next time and yeah, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Time to scurry!! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami is just being a good friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little mice :)
> 
> I'm finally posted! I had no idea what to write for this chapter so it's not all that great. I'm thinking I might bring in Luka in the next chapter! 
> 
> Also, I would love to hear what you guys think about Marinette's parents - would you rather they be a positive or negative part of her life in this fic? If there isn't a general preference for this then I'll probably write them as being in more of a grey area.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

"You know Hawkmoth," Marinette mused softly as her legs hung lazily over the building's edge, "I always wanted to fight with my own strength."

"What do you mean Marinette? You're the best Ladybug I've ever had!"

Marinette smiled softly at the red kwami who had assumed her - now regular - position atop of her shoulder. "That's a little different Tikki, I can be strong as Ladybug with your help, with Chat's help but I always wanted to be strong as Marinette, even if it was just for a little while."

"You have shown strength far beyond your years, I hope that you'll come to see it too," Hawkmoth responded, his voice was both soft a firm, more parental than anything. Her lips quirked up slightly at the thought, who would have ever thought she'd be mothered over by a supervillain? _'Just imagine, the heroine of Paris the daughter of the Supervillain, how ironic would that be'_ , needless to say that comment was bound to come back to haunt her...

With another sigh, the bluenette traced the path Chat, or Adrien, had taken after accompanying her to a quite rooftop in the city - who would have thought the Eiffel tower would be popular? It almost felt like a tourist attraction... easy to forget with everything that goes on sometimes. "It's always so easy to look up to Kagami, she's always so strong and I wish I could be like that..."

"I don't know, I think you're plenty strong yourself." As she turned to face the voice from behind her, maybe she should have been more surprised to see Kagami pulling herself onto the roof as a civilian. Maybe she would have been if she didn't know the girl better, but she knew enough to be sure that Kagami was nothing if not determined. If there was something she set out to do then she'd do it. Knowing her it probably wasn't the first time she climbed to the roof of a stranger's building... probably won't be the last either.

As Marinette's eyes scanned over the teen before her, she felt Tikki press closer to her shoulder, burying herself behind a curtain of blue hair with the hopes that she'd go undiscovered. "What are you doing up here Kagami?"

At the question the other girl let out a scoff, her tone something akin to disbelief. "Chat Noir made public that you were akumatized but were a special case, he said that you're still conscious and harmless so people don't panic and I can see that's true so excuse me for being concerned when I see you hanging half off a roof!" Kagami's voice grew louder as she went on, her normally stoic features morphed into concern as she faced the girl she deems to be her first friend.

"I'm sorry Kagami, I didn't mean to worry you..." the apology sounded weak even to her own ears but it was better than leaving the silence, leaving the answer to the unasked question - was she thinking about jumping? Not that it made much of a difference whilst she was akumatized but it would certainly send a message about her mental well-being that she wasn't sure if she was ready to be heard. 

"It's not just me, that musician boy of yours seemed rather worried on my way here."

"You saw Luka?" With a small huff Kagami sat herself down besides the akumatized teen, seemingly unaware of just how large the inner turmoil was that the girl was facing.

"Yeah, you might want to go see him at some point soon because I think he might try climbing up here too and lets just say not everyone with blue hair can safely get on the rooftops." Marinette let out a small giggle despite herself, the feeling or normalcy was so foreign yet so welcome in the moment. "Marinette, who hurt you?"

"What?" Marinette asked with slight confusion, eyeing Kagami's clenched fists that instinctively reached out for her fencing sabre despite it not being there.

"Who hurt you? I just want to... talk?" That statement was the first thing to earn an actual laugh regardless of the serious undertone in Kagami's voice.

"You're already reaching for a sabre that isn't there, I think you want to do a bit more than just talk Kagami," Marinette chuckled softly, her eyes seeming to brighten slightly with humour as a light pink tint overtook Kagami's cheeks. Kagami couldn't help but smile a little at the other girl's joy, Marinette didn't suit being apathetic, it was too unlike herself and it was almost disturbing to see.

"You can always talk to me you know, I know I'm not the best in terms of social skills and that I may not be the best when it comes to interpreting other people's feelings but I am your friend. I will try my best to be here for you whenever you may need it." Kagami took a deep breath having finished her short declaration, it wasn't often she showed her softer side to people.

"Sometimes, everything just makes me want to scream..."

"Then do it."

"What?"

"Scream," Kagami flashed Marinette a smirk normally reserved for the few instances she decided to rebel against her mother. Without waiting for a response, Kagami stood up on the edge of the roof and screamed into the city of noise. Marinette looked up at her, mouth agape at the quiet girl's defiance. Kagami's eyes flickered downwards at the other bluenette, rolling her eyes good-naturedly at her reaction, "we're already on the rooftop and I can bet we can leave faster than they can make us stop."

Marinette took the hand Kagami offered to her and together the two girl's screamed out their frustrations, their anger, their pain. 

It was long overdue.

* * *

The sound was largely drowned out by the city, it probably wasn't helped by the distance that had been put between the two of them and the bluenette they had left on the rooftop, but Plagg could still pick up on her screams.

Plagg had always been one for fun. The kwami of destruction, not many humans cared about him when they could care for the force of creation, why would they? That's why the sound of her screaming was so familiar to him, so close to him in a way he was unable to describe.

He knew all too well how much of a release screaming could provide and after the discoveries of the young bug's fate, the city was already looking duller with each passing second. 

"Me too kid, me too," he whispered out to no one in particular before burying himself into the depths of Adrien's bag and if a notebook got clawed to death, well there's no saying it hadn't been purchased in that state.

* * *

Gabriel couldn't help his relief at the appearance of the young Tsurugi heiress on the rooftop. 

Watching the two teens scream into the wind without a care for the world around them was somewhat relieving to him. Maybe it was seeing the akumatized teen finally let out some of her pain or seeing her not putting everyone and thing before herself.

But most likely it was to see that someone was there to help her out, that there was someone to save her from herself if only for a second.

"Thank you, Miss Tsurugi."

Suddenly the impossible task of keeping a suicidal teen alive didn't seem completely hopeless, it was becoming a team effort.

* * *

"Screaming at the city wasn't on my bucket list but it definitely should have been!" Marinette declared as she laid herself back on the roof staring up at the sky.

"Bucket list?" Kagami asked, diverting her gaze to be fixed solely on the girl in front of her. Something about the words had made her blood run cold. An involuntary shiver ran the length of her spine, her heart sinking to her stomach yet she force her face to remain unwavering as to not worsen whatever the situation may be with her reaction.

Despite the weight of Kagami's gaze and the silence that suffocated the both of them, Marinette's eyes remained focused on the sky above with a casual longing directed at the clouds. Her eyes traced the smoky outlines so flawlessly - so intently - that Kagami couldn't be sure she'd even heard her question.

"I'm dying."

As one girl tried to comprehend the extent of the words spoken, the other allowed herself to be captivated by the blue the arced towards the heavens, hiding from view a whole new sky born of colour and stars. An ever-growing dream that swirled into galaxies high above and softened the muted silver-greys that felt close enough to be tangible, almost close enough to feel the nothing that connects everything. And yet, she still found herself trapped within the limitations of a world that had decided not to care about her.

After all, why should she care about tomorrow when the world was set on not caring about her?

"What do you mean you're dying?" Kagami finally forced her voice to function to utter out a question in desperation, the idea that she could lose a friend - her first friend - was just so unreal. Even the thought of it caused her breath to hitch in her throat, a dreadful emptiness forced its way into her chest to leave a hollow pang in her heart that she couldn't yet place and it was just from the mere thought of Marinette disappearing from the world.

Marinette finally sat up at the question, forcing yet another soft smile onto her face until the expression seemed like it had been painted onto her permanently. Kagami could have sworn she even saw a splash of red pressing into her neck that seemed to vanish almost as quickly as it appeared, the lack of permanence resonated with her and she found that in itself to be unsettling.

"I'm dying Kagami, I mean exactly what I said. That's what this whole akumatized thing is about, by the time it's over there's a good chance it'll be too late for me so this is my opportunity for fulfil my bucket list, say my goodbyes. All those things people say you're meant to do before you go," Marinette responded with a startling seriousness, a finality in her tone that didn't suit her, it was almost too... morbid. 

Kagami took a moment to truly process what was being said. Whilst part of her demanded to give a reaction, object the inevitable in the hopes of somehow magically prolonging the other's life, the more logical portion of her appealed to her to aid the girl in fulfilling her wishes. If she was going to die then the least she could do is ensure she didn't have to do it alone. After all, it didn't seem like she was saying her goodbyes for her own sake.

"You said earlier you were envious of my strength, what if I were to teach you how to stand for yourself?" Marinette's eyes widened instantly at the offer, having in no way expected such a reaction.

"Would you really?"

"Yes, I just have one condition."

"Which is?"

"I don't want to let you die alone, let me accompany you in the time you have left." After a few seconds to ponder the offer, Marinette nodded at Kagami.

"So, how do you feel about stars?" Kagami raised an eyebrow at the blue-eyed girl but gave no verbal response, she couldn't deny that these coming days would be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it wasn't very emotional really so it can give you all a little bit of recovery from the previous chapters! Possible Kagami leading a future revenge squad.....
> 
> Since I haven't posted in a while (I'm really sorry for that, I'm in England so things have been very 'eventful' with lockdown and everything) I'm hoping to post another chapter this weekend :)
> 
> Me posting yet again at 2am (maybe I should just rename my account early morning drabbles XD )
> 
> I hope you're all keeping well, time to scurry!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, if your powers work like that then I think I know why you’re really here.” Luka glanced back at the two girls following behind him onto the boat, his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little mice!
> 
> Finally posted but I had major writers block so this was kinda a mess (oops)
> 
> I kind of know what I want to do in the next few chapters, be prepared for it to get angsty soon, or maybe just sad again? We'll see....
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

He could not help but gnaw at his bottom lip as he stared down at the phone in his hand. The screen seemed almost teasing – mocking – as it showed yet another failed call. He knew that he saw her up there, yet there was still no answer.

What in the hell was he meant to think? When you see anyone perched at the edge of a rooftop, yet alone someone you so deeply care about, only to hear no response from them.

What was he supposed to do?

Part of him just wanted to kick, and scream, and yell. Just do anything to try to get rid of the emotions that seem to be caught pressing against the inside of his skin, trapped without a way out to the point that there is an underlying temptation to claw at his skin, to just… let them out.

…

But he couldn’t, wouldn’t.

All he could do was redial a number he knew was useless calling and continue to hold out hope, maybe it was more wishful thinking than anything.

Despite his optimism, he hadn’t expected for the girl in question to appear before him, yet alone with another bluenette.

“Hey Luka, I heard you were looking for me.”

She laced her fingers together in front of her as she spoke, her head tilted up slightly to face him, yet her eyes refused to meet his own.

“I’m sorry. I should have called, or texted, or come to find you but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t do that to you. I didn’t mean to make you worry… I didn’t think… I don’t know why… I don’t want to make you worry like that,” she apologised hesitantly, her shoulders tensing as she spoke, “you don’t need to worry about me anymore.”

He took a hesitant step towards the girl in front of him, choosing the ignore the calculated stare of Kagami coming from behind Marinette, choosing the pretend he couldn’t see the kwami so poorly hidden behind a curtain of midnight hair because he had priorities and it was honestly old news at this point. He placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her at an arm’s length as his speaks.

“No, not this time.” The tension faded from her body at his words, replaced by a genuine confusion at hid words. “Marinette, you have nothing to apologise for. People should be apologising to you. In no way should you have to beg for the love you deserve. I’m not letting you take the blame, not this time, not anymore.”

With the words said he took a moment to truly look at the teen in front of him. Someone he truly loved and someone he had come far too close to losing.

Without giving a warning, he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into her hair because damnit he had come too close to losing her. She was _here,_ but she almost wasn’t. What was the point in him being a hero when he couldn’t even save the person that gave him the motivation to be one?

He tried to stop the tears, he really did. He didn’t want to give her a reason to feel guilty – even though he knew Marinette well enough to know it was inevitable, even if her akumatized form was so much better at hiding it – but he could not stop them. And she just stood there, with the patience of someone who had done the same hundreds of times before, listening to smothered sobs and reacting to each teardrop no more than one would react to rain. The only indication that the display had any effect was her hands that slowly fisted the fabric of his shirt as she found herself willing to hold on, if only for a moment.

“I just didn’t want to wakeup anymore,” Marinette confessed with a voice much smaller than anything he had heard from the bluenette before.

“Then we’ll live a dream.”

Maybe he wouldn’t have made such a promise if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had only just managed to regain his composure but seeing a real smile on Marinette’s face was more than worth putting the pressure upon himself.

His eyes flickered over Marinette’s shoulder briefly, observing Kagami’s lips pressed into a smile – probably the most enthusiastic expression he had ever seen on the young heiresses’ face. She had relaxed significantly since her arrival and had begun to look almost hopeful for the other bluenette.

Maybe the two of them could be called selfish, wanting so badly for Marinette to stay despite her obvious wish to leave them, and the world, behind. But he truly didn’t care for that fact, if it made him selfish then so be it, but he wasn’t going to let go.

Marinette had been strong for all of Paris for far too long. She was allowed to be weak for once.

He and Kagami could manage being strong for her for a while.

* * *

Hawkmoth almost felt lighter watching the scene, but it was still a bittersweet site.

He couldn’t help but admire the trio, there was no anger, no blame (even though he knew exactly where the girl’s two friends were – rightfully – placing the blame). With the way they treated her he would not have even identified her as an akuma had it not been for her appearance and occasional power usage.

It felt unfair. That someone could have so little to live for and yet have so much to lose.

Going by the dried tear-tracks that marked the boy’s face, it was easy to deduce that she would be safe with the two of them, happy even. If only the world could be that simple.

Momentary happiness was such a powerful thing, for better or worse.

_“Bucket list? Really?” Luka laughed at the name that was meant to be assigned to his friend._

_“Maybe we should get him a book to help with names?” Kagami mused in response._

_“Or a link to some sort of name generator, and no Hawkmoth before you say anything, names like ‘the Bubbler’, ‘Mr Pigeon’, and ‘the Mime’ are not only uninspired but more villainous than their powers,” Marinette huffed, more than happy to sass the supervillain the three knew were listening in._

For once, Hawkmoth couldn’t care less about his reputation or the fact that he was being sassed (about his creativity of all things!) by three teenagers. No, this time it was alright.

* * *

“So, if your powers work like that then I think I know why you’re really here.” Luka glanced back at the two girls following behind him onto the boat, his home. Marinette merely quirked an eyebrow in response, putting forwards a silent challenge to his claim. She thought she had made it pretty clear that she wanted to see him.

“Oh? Really now, and what would that be?” Kagami asked, her voice veiled in sarcasm that matched perfectly with the deadpan stare aimed at the guitarist.

Luka merely smirked in response to the two, picking up something before turning to show them. “Marinette here has never beaten me at Guitar Hero no matter how many times she’s promise to.” He turned his teasing smile to the girl in question, the silent invite blatantly obvious.

“You are so on Luka!”

“I don’t believe I have played before, but I would be most obliged to aid in Luka’s downfall.”

“I am hurt,” Luka huffed dramatically, placing a hand over his heart for emphasis and pouting at the two only to receive an amused scoff from Marinette and an eyeroll from Kagami – she would deny the smile that etched onto her face.

* * *

“How is he so good at this!”

“I swear he’s cheating…”

“Who’s up for a fourth round?”

* * *

“Marinette! Did you seriously just use your powers to win?!”

“….no?”

“Marinette! That’s cheating!”

“Technically, you never set any rules…”

“Really Kagami? Would it kill you to be on my side for once?”

“Probably.”

* * *

“We’re playing again! There is no way you can still be winning.”

“Come on then! Besides, you know what they say about eleven? It’s somone’s lucky number….”

* * *

It felt like hours, maybe it had been, since the games had started when the trio eventually found themselves laying on the ship’s deck staring up at a seemingly blank nights sky. Only a sliver of the moon present and the stars so muted that they too may well have been cloaked in shadow.

Marinette raised one hand toward the sky, a soft lilac glow emanating from her palm. The lustre of the city seemed to dim, as if the light had all been redirected to the sky where albescent splatters had begun to come alive, dancing across the sky and embedding themselves in the blanket of night until it was impossible to look at a single shining point without being captivated by the constellations of the sky.

“That’s what you meant when you asked about stars,” Kagami breathed out in awe, her eyes fixed on the sky above. Even with the city lights dimmed, it was the brightest any of the three teens had ever seen the city. “I… I think I’ll grab some blankets so we can stay out here.”

“My mum will show you where they are,” Luka told the bluenette who was already on her feet, having forcefully torn her eyes away from the sky above. She nodded in acknowledgement before carefully excusing herself.

He turned his gaze to Marinette who remained laying by his side, her eyes tracing invisible patterns between the gleaming dots with admiration.

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Yeah, Luka?” She turned carefully to lay on her side facing him, the blue hue in her eyes seemingly deeper than it had been all day.

“I’m glad you came to me,” he said, his eyes darting briefly to the deck they were laying on that suddenly seemed much more interesting.

“So am I.” He turned to lay on his side facing her at his words, relieved at the lack of regret expressed by the other.

He reached his hand out slowly, closing the gap between the two of them as he reached her own hand. Pausing briefly for any sign of reluctance from the other, only when receiving none did her carefully intertwine their fingers.

“So am I,” she echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I think it was softer than previous chapters have been! Thank you all so much for the reviews you've left so far, I love reading them and responding to you guys!! It was a comment left recently that actually got me to finish this chapter so thank you!! :)
> 
> I would say I hope to post soon but I really suck at posting apparently.
> 
> So hopefully soon...
> 
> Anyways, time to scurry :)

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I hope you enjoyed and there will be more chapters for this fic coming (hopefully soon).
> 
> Now for my announcement, I decided to go ahead and created an Instagram account in case any of you want another means of contact - I might even post updates on fics, fic ideas and so on. Maybe some polls for which fic to write next?  
> My instagram account has the same profile picture, you can find me on:  
> Instagram: @little_lady_squeak
> 
> Feel free to message me on there about anything, whether it's to talk about fanfictions or even just to make friends :)
> 
> I hope you're all keeping well and enjoyed this fic so far!
> 
> Anyways, that's all from me now, time to scurry!


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